Warning: verbal vomit to follow!

I know it's pretty crappy of me to do this after taking such a long summer hiatus, but I really need to vent and since I vowed to myself that I wouldn't spew my negative feelings to the HUGE audience of Facebook, I'm going to do it here where no one will see it :) Sometimes I just get so many thought rolling in my head and I need a way to express them or I'll combust.

The past three months have been really trying.  Not trying in a major catastrophe, trial or illness way, but in a personal, emotional way.  I have questioned my faith in humanity so many times it's ridiculous. I mean really, how are you supposed to see the good and beautiful in people when you are given so much evidence of how much they can suck sometimes?  Harsh, yes.  I'm sorry I even put that statement out there.  But I'm trying to be honest, and that's how I've honestly felt the last few months.  A person I really respect and admire, when talking to me a while ago about one of the demoralizing instances that they witnessed first hand (and harbored a lot of my same feelings because of it), asked me how I am able to stay so positive.  I was as truthful with him as I have ever been in my entire life.  I told him that what he saw on the outside was in no way a reflection of how I felt inside, but I didn't want to poison everyone around me by expressing it. (Irony alert: I'm doing that just now).  But now, in this moment, I've been able to reflect on all I've learned from these bad experiences and I must say, although some people really stink, there are also soooo many wonderful ones who support and love me.  I think I took them for granted because they are always there, constant and firm, and it wasn't until I placed them in comparison with all the negative people that I saw what true gems they are.  I have an amazing family that consists of brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews that I treasure.  My husband is a rock and true friend, and my kids are the joy of my life.  I have had the opportunity to work with some of the coolest, strongest and funnest women over the past three years in YW, and I treasure their friendship.  There are friends and neighbors who hide immense strength and resiliency behind simple, quiet exteriors. You could travel to the end of the earth and back and not find better people.  Looking at them, learning from them helps me remember that not everyone is cruel.  Not everyone says what they want without feeling or regard for others.  Not everyone treats those who can't defend themselves with disdain and prejudice.  I know now that I rely on these remarkable people and their example so much, more than I every thought possible.  I hope I get the opportunity to let each of them know how much I have relied on their kind words, their smile in passing, or off-the-wall talks until 4 in the morning to keep me going.  They've been my life-line, and I can only hope that one day I can be the same for someone else.

I'm sure this makes absolutely no sense, but thanks blogger for letting me get that out.

Soooooo........

Holy crap where did the summer go? Between football and girls camp and youth conference, oh and getting released as YW pres. after 3 YEARS last week, I have no recollection of doing anything "summery". We haven't taken a family vacation in over 2 years because we suck as parents, but I think we're going to be forgiven because in march we're taking Tay and Noah to Italy!!!! Hallelujah, the last 5 years of hoarding frequent flyer miles has finally paid off. Those miles made every week-long business trip worth it. We are spending 6 days in Florence and 6 in Rome, and plan on using these cities as a base for visiting all the other cities and sites. The kids' passports came in the mail last week and we have our apartments set up in both cities. March can't come soon enough!!!

(Holy cow can you believe that hair????)

Guess who is turning 14 tomorrow??????

Yes, that would be my Tay. I sometimes wonder at the fact that Heavenly Father chose me to be this angel's mom. Since her first breath, Tay has been a ray of light in our home. She is brilliant, strong, outgoing, funny and beautiful. She is not afraid to speak her mind or have contrary opinions. Tay has such a tender heart and is so wary of hurting others. She's a great sister and is loved and idolized by her 2 younger brothers . She's not perfect, but she's just about as close as you can get. Happy birthday tomorrow my wonderful girl. I heart you forever and ever.

(I added this picture of Tay and her Abuelo because they had such a special relationship, and just a few weeks ago marked 11 years since he passed away. Tay remembers him so well, even though she was only 3 when he died. She'll always be his "Hollywood Girl". I ADORE this picture, and miss my grandpa so much)

Just Ridiculous

Question.....

Why are people taking one the greatest accomplishments of American military and intelligence efforts and turning it into a bipartisan battle? Who cares who gets more credit for it? Yes, Bush's administration got the ball rolling. Obama got the job done. One wouldn't be possible without the other, case closed. I am so sick of the negativity and pettiness of bipartisanship. Let's just enjoy the success and be thankful for brave soldiers and the brilliant minds that crafted the rescue. Congrats to Pres. Obama for strong leadership, and closing this chapter of America's fight on terrorism. His speech on Sunday night brought me to tears, and I was so proud of our country and what we can achieve. Shame on those who would take such a great moment in our history and deconstruct it until it means almost nothing.

Taylor's election video

Tay's Election Speech

Update Your Status!!!

My absence over the last few weeks can be accounted for by 3 words: Junior High Elections.

Holy freak, when did junior high elections become a high stakes, frenzied production of videos, speeches and my favorite, the carnival wrist band? I remember school elections being a popularity contest where you felt cool if you were asked to carry a campaign sign between classes. Long gone are those days. Now, you really have to campaign. It's a multi-step process: first you have to get names on a petition supporting your right to become a candidate; second comes the awfully complex process of deciding on a campaign slogan- the all-important mantra that will grace your posters, campaign t-shirts (only 2 shirts, one for the candidate and the other for the "campaign manager") and wristbands (The kids are not allowed to hand out any "bribes" like candy, so instead they can give out carnival wrist bands with your slogan emblazon on with black sharpie). Tay's slogan was all about Facebook: "Update Your Status- Vote Cella for 9th Grade Officer!! Then there's primary elections. Because there were 9 candidates for the 3 ninth grade offices, they decided at the last minute to cancel primaries, which was both good and bad. It was good because all the students running got an opportunity to move on to the finals, but bad because it made the election process from start to finish almost 4 weeks long. The week of Spring

Break was spent filming the 3 minute election video, and writing the election speech. Then it was one more agonizing week of campaigning before Taylor was finally able to give her speech and video at the election assembly last Friday. The assembly was a mess. Every year they have horrible technological issues. This year was worse than most. I felt so bad for the kids running for 8th grade officers; their videos were first and so the teachers had to work out all the computer glitches on their videos. It took an hour longer than anticipated, and by the time they were finished I think the kids were just sick of the whole thing. Then they still had the SBO & 9th grade electorates to go. Tay decided to run for 9th grade officer because 2 of her best friends were running for SBO, and she didn't want to have any bad feelings between them from competing against each other. It was a good decision because she could support both of them, as they could her. Tay's speech was great. She tied in her "Update Your Status" slogan, and she even sang/played guitar. She really stood out with her originality. Her video was hilarious. I'll try to post her video and the speech on the blog later. After the assembly, they were supposed to go back to class and vote but the ballots got all messed up so they had to wait until Monday to vote. It was a looooong weekend. Again, I felt bad for the kids. They have spent so much time and energy in this process, only to have mistakes make the results agonizingly longer. But it all turned out well in the end, as Tay found out at the end of the school day on Monday that she had won. Her two friends also won, so they'll have a blast next year in Student Gov. Tay is really excited to plan great activities next year, and get the students more involved. We are so proud of her for running a great campaign, and are really, really glad it's over and done with!!

Our candidate, showing off her shrine on Grandma's fridge.

Proud Grandma and Grandpa came over for a post-election celebration. Tay had so much support from her family and friends.