Flasback To...The Draper Elementary School Song

Draper Dragons, the Dragons are we...working together as a team.....except for the socially akward girl in the corner who won't stop crying.....



(Yup, that's me. Stop laughing. Never mind, go ahead. I was ridiculous)

TQ just realized that PBS is "keeping secrets" from the toddlers and under ten crowd.

"Why doesn't the Man in the Yellow hat have a name?" she asked. "Is it because he's a victim of identity theft?"

And 2 seconds later, "you know, they are hiding the truth from us. Everyone on these shows is far too happy. Where's the recession? The war with Iraq? George Bush being an idiot?"

I don't know if I should be really proud or really, really worried about he jaded outlook on life. When you stop seeing the joy in Curious George and start asking tough questions it's time to change to CNN.

But then again, she was called a whore by some delightful young man as were exiting her junior high awards ceremony just 20 minutes ago so she might be projecting her anger from that lovely episode at humanity and mankind in general. I think the George Bush slam tipped me off.

He's been out of office for a year and a half now dear. It's time to find a new politico to mock and scorn. I'd suggest Glen Beck, but that's just me :)

Your First Mistake Was Trusting Him...

I should have known Zach was up to trouble when he was waaaay too quiet while my sweet visiting teacher was here. I thought he was just being considerate and letting me enjoy a visit with Kae Lyn while watching tv in my room. Nope, he was giving himself a hair cut. He looks like he just got out of a prison camp now. His enormous head just can't pull off a buzz.

People With English Degrees Are Above Worldly Trappings....aka Technology Is LAME!

It took me 2 hours this morning to figure out how to transport the text from a spreadsheet to a text document. Finally I just retyped the whole dumb thing. And yes, I am in an AWESOME mood, thanks for asking.

Now the Man Child is yelling at me "I need help! I need help" while throwing his game in my face.( Btw, could the Star Wars song on an eternal loop be MORE annoying? Really, the brilliant minds that created animated Lego Sith Lords couldn't come up with more than one song for the game? Seriously!). It's so cute how MC thinks I actually know how to work a stupid Nintendo DS. He's 3 and has mastered all but the most difficult nuances of the gaming world. His older siblings know better. They gave up asking me for help years ago.

I am getting so old.

Those All Important Bonding Moments.....

Today as I texted my momma about some random bit of nothing, it hit me how great it is to have reached the stage of life where the parent/child relationship has morphed from teacher/disciplinarian/instructor to friend and confidant. As a teenager I never thought we'd make it to this point- two very strong willed and opinionated women, with a barrage of teenage hormones and insanity in one house does not make for a whole lot of harmony or mother-daughter warm fuzzies. But somehow we got through it, and by the time I got married I was finally beginning to realize what an amazing and cool (yes, I'm saying mother and cool in the same sentence) person Moma de Loma is.

I think we made it through for 2 reasons #1: my very large Puerto Rican dad and his crazy scary "mad eye" which could instantly freeze my sarcasm riddled diatribes, and #2: the fact that my mom was just so much fun to hang out with. While most kids my age were hanging out at friends' houses and (shock) dating, I was laying on my mom's bed watching bad 60's surf movies and making homemade pizza and fries. We'd stay up half the night playing stupid card games all the while arguing over who was the biggest cheater. 15 years later we're still doing those things, but now I have a daughter of my own in the mix.

One of TQ and my greatest similarities is that we'd rather hang with my mom/her grandma and my sis/her aunt than any other people on earth. It doesn't matter what mundane task we're doing: making dinner, bottling the harvest from God's Little Acre or tying a quilt for yet another relative's wedding, we laugh and have fun. Of course there is a lot of Diet Coke and sugar consumed during these times. Smiths should send us personalized Christmas cards for spending the gross national product of a 3rd world country in their store on candy and DC.

This past weekend TQ and I got to have a sleepover with Gma and Aunt Fancy in between funeral activities and boy's night. We rediscovered the Lawrence Welk skit on Saturday Night Live thanks to Hulu (best web site ever, hands down) and acted it out while playing Life.My poor dad. He was so overrun with estrogen I think he might have started his period. What a good sport he is though- he lasted through one game that should have taken 45 minutes but because of our need to act out the entire game as Judy/Janice from the Lenon sisters spoof it ended up taking almost 2 hours.

It was bliss. I almost wet my pants 3 or 4 times from laughing. And at our house, that how we gauge comedy: if it doesn't make you loose your bladder it's just not that funny. That's why you should try to always bring an extra pair of pants and undies when you visit mom and dad- you never know when you're going to need them.

Or maybe invest in some Depends.

Is that too much information?

A Question for Those Who Know...

Can I watch the finale of Lost tonight having not watched the last 2 seasons and NOT be completely lost?????

Cause I love a good series ending. Even for a series I could care less about. There are way too many characters and too many story lines. And my pea brain can only handle so much at once before it gets distracted by the updates on Facebook or the smell of cookies in the kitchen.

Look, I Farted! Where?????? In There!!!!

Apparently somewhere along the line Man Child decided that you can see a fart.

That's why he sitting on the toilet mad as h%## right now that we won't let him off because he hasn't produced a #2 yet.

He claims he farted. He made his father come look in the bowl to verify said toot.

Either it is invisible or our son has inadvertently equated fart with poop.
I see lots of dirty underwear in his future.
And embarassing accidents at school.

Fortunately I've almost decided not to send him to preschool this year. 100% potty trained is mandatory for admittance and I have a feeling we'll be fighting this potty battle for months to come. He'll have it by 4 right??? And in another year he might be able to sit still for 10 minutes at a time and actually pay attention to the teacher.

Yep, we're definitely waiting. The battle of 3 hour church has taught me both his and my limits. Zach can't get excommunicated from church but I know he can get expelled from preschool. And I can't have a preschool flunkie on my conscience.

Operatic Wonder.....

In an hour I'll be on my way to Fox's school to what his end-of-the-year program.

I love his teacher- she could have gone with the old stand by of Ode to the Utah pioneer or Tour of the Good Ole' USA. Instead, the class wrote an opera. Yes, you read that right. An OPERA. An opera about our local claim to fame, Hill Air Force Base.

This should be so entertaining.

Fox tried out for and won the part of "spy". He gets to dress in all black and get arrested at the end. His favorite part of the entire show is when he gets handcuffed. I am glad he doesn't have a singing intensive role as his "atonal pitch issues" tend to stick out even in the largest of choirs. He is blissfully unaware of his disability, and sings with the gusto of a hard core rocker.

His dulcet tones may make him a future audition round American Idol castoff, but I wouldn't have him any other way.

This Just In................

BYU football: Unga can't rejoin team this fall, will likely turn pro - Salt Lake Tribune


This article has begrudgingly given me the most respect I've had for BYU in years. Way to stick to the Honor Code no matter what BYU, and despite all the national criticism. One experience that left a bad taste in my mouth from my 2 years at BYU happened during my first year when I shared a class with 6 or 7 BYU football players. Each Monday and Wednesday they laughed and chatted through the entire class, having the nerve to sit by me and then ask for my notes at the end of class. Wait- I should qualify that. They'd ask if they were feeling gracious. Mostly they'd just look over and copy them. I'll be honest, at first the attention was flattering but that was quickly erased by irritation and shock at how completely DUMB they were. About 1/2 way through the semester I finally became smart enough to plan arriving to class at the last minute so they couldn't find me in the middle of 300 students. Now before you get all upset and point out that the U players probably do the same thing, let me state that I agree. It goes on everywhere. The difference with BYU is the Honor Code each student must agree to abide by. It just really bugged me that I was busting my butt trying to listen and learn while these jokers laughed about how they'd slide through the class. Grrrr..........

So props to BYU today for sticking to their guns. I know it wasn't the popular choice and you'll be lambasted by your own fans, but it was the right one.

Who Has Time For Blogging When Dinosaur Train Is On?

I've been a little distracted lately.

Okay, a lot distracted.

My house is a mess. The laundry goes straight from the dryer to the laundry room countertop only to sit there for days waiting to be folded. Dishes sit in the sink until noon at the earliest.

Who wants to work when you can watch back to back episodes of Dinosaur Train on the DVR?

If you haven't discovered this toddler gem, then get it on your schedule NOW. There is an entire episode dedicated to poop. Big poop, small poop, it's all poop they sing. It's okay to poop in the open cause everyone does it.

LOVE IT!!! I made the king watch it last night after Glee. He didn't laugh out loud like I did, but I think that's because he's a big onery butt-munch because of work stress. How can you not be amused by logic such as "every dinosaur eaats, so every dinosaur poops"? These are important life lessons people!

BTW.........Glee (sigh). I love/hate every single character. That's what makes it such a fantastic show. I want to pummel Hummel (good alliteration, eh???) one second then give hime a hug and wipe away his tears the next. I did not love the Madonna episode- it sacrificed story line for Madge idol worship- but every other episode, including last night's, has been incredible. I can't wait for the Rachel/Mommy dearest drama to unfold next week. Tuesdays can't come fast enough.

Don't you love that I haven't blogged in 6 weeks and my first new post is about TV? I have prrorities people.