Conversation between the Man Child and my brother's dog that is currently being "doggie sat" at my parents' house.
Hi Monkey (incidentally, the dog's name is Mikey)
Monkey, do you know me? I am Zachie.
Monkey, I am your friend. So I am going to grab your ears. It's okay.
I am going to grab your tail too, okay Monkey? It's alright.
(at this point "Monkey" ran to hide under the kitchen table)
No Monkey, come back! Monkey you get out here right now! I said NOW!
Good boy, good boy
(oh, and did I forget to mention that Mikey is a girl?)
Monkey do you know my sister Taylor?
At some point during the day MC decided that "Monkey" was actually "Mackey", and was so inspired by his new best friend that MC decided he was a dog too. He barked at a terrified Mackey for 30 minuted straight before I finally told my human/dog to leave him alone. MC stopped barking, but then proceeded to feed Mackey dog food one piece at a time, and I'm pretty sure he sampled it first before giving to his new "best friend".
My arm is getting stiff from patting myself on the back over and over for not allowing pets in our house. If he wants companionship, MC should start looking for an imaginary friend. Preferably one that's housebroken.