I'm going to write a book titled "What I Learned About Being a Parent While Messing Up my Kids' Lives".
Here are a few chapter's I've come up with:
Fiscal Responsibility: Why refusing to take your kids to library because of their massive accumulated fines is better than encouraging their love of reading.
You Have Free Agency- You Just Have To Get My Approval Of It First.
If I Say You Rolled Your Eyes You Did: Mom Is Never Wrong.
It's Okay To Be A Non-Conformist: It Doesn't Really Mean You Are Lazy If You're Not Dressed by Noon.
They'll Never Know What To Expect: How Using the time honored tradition of " you have to the count of 3 to....." but disciplining on count 2, or starting on 3 and getting it over with immediately keeps them on their toes.
From Teenager to Toddler: Why Allowing the Middle Child a Day to Boss and Torment the Oldest for 24 hours is a Great Way to Fix Out Of Balance Sibling Relationships
Reverse Psychology: Me No!
Putting it Back in Their Face: How playing the "Mom, Stop Copying Me Game" to Demonstrate how Annoying and Irritating their Constant Whining Is. How Long Can They Handle Hearing You Repeat Everything They Say?
Keeping it Simple: How to Answer the Most Annoying Repetitive Question with One Word Answers. We'll look at approaches to-
What's for dinner? (Food)
Why do I have to go? (Because)
When are we leaving? (Later)
Train Them Early: The Younger They Are The More Gullible They Are.
That's all I have for now. Any suggestions?