Monday, February 8, 2010

Trying to Remember What I've Learned...

For the last two weeks the King and I have had the same conversation over and over. Then my mom and I had it, then dad, and finally my sister joined in as well.

I won't go into details, but I need to commit the resolutions I have come to from all these conversations to my online journal so that I will remember them in the future lest I forget what all the frustration and tears have taught me.

*People are wonderful. Most try to help each other and live according to high moral or ethical standards. They'll give all they have and then more to those who are in need (remember, Thailand, Katrina, and Haiti?) There will always be a few who are content to live in their own little bubble, and never think of anyone besides themselves, but they are few are far between.

*People are flawed, but that only makes them more interesting. How boring would this world be if we were all the same? I need to be more patient and understanding with people, and try to look at situations from their perspective no matter how different it may be from my own. I need to forgive easier and learn to forget the wrongs of the past. I have to stop judging others for what they are or are not doing and remember that we are all just trying our hardest to get through each day with the demands of being parent, daughter/son, provider, friend, serving in church, school and in the community.

*The Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. We are all trying our hardest to live it and serve Him by serving in it. It's not like a business- the people we serve aren't our "customers" or "clients"; too often it appears that way when the reality is that by serving each other we are serving Christ and building His kingdom on the earth.

*Satan is so cunning and wicked. He knows just how to play to our weaknesses and fears. I'm sure he's quite pleased with himself for the dark funk I've been in for the last few weeks. But he didn't take into account my good husband and children, or my supportive parents and siblings. I love these people more than words could possibly ever express. Satan cannot comprehend unconditional love, so he always discounts its power.

*I am so blessed to live in an age of technological wonders. My two newborn nephews who have been in the hospital the last 2 weeks would have succumbed to their illnesses should they have lived even 50 years ago. Instead, their tiny bodies were brought back to health through modern medicine. My uncle, aunt, and TK's 4 year old 2nd cousin are all fighting cancer in its various forms, and have not one treatment but many in their arsenal. My son's vision is slowly dieing every day but at the same time researchers are moving closer and closer to gene therapies that may restore some of his sight someday. Last week we visited a new pediatric Opthamologist, and for the first time since Fox's diagnosis I felt like we had a doctor on our team, one that would work and advocate for Fox. What an enormous blessing.

*I am a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. Someday I hope to be as strong as my mom, who is the most wonderful woman on the face of the earth. I hope that someday I can have a testimony like my dad's, whose faith could move mountains. I hope I can develop as thick of skin as his as well. Dad rarely lets anyone get to him, and in return rarely judges others. He is an incredible example.

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