Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Just a quick update....

Tonight we reached the halfway point in the construction of the “western Taj Mahal”, a.k.a the installation of thousands of feet of chair rail and crown throughout the 2nd and 3rd floors of our home. (Yes, I know it's ridiculous for a multitude of reasons, the first and foremost that the house is NEW!!). How did I know this epic moment had finally occurred? Not by any quantifiable or measurable means. It was obvious because The King started questioning and re-evaluating everything we had done so far, and determined that it all looks terrible, that he has no carpentry skills remaining from years of tutelage at his father's side, and that no matter how much puttying and caulking I do, it will never look good (caulking seems like a naughty word, doesn't it? I feel a little dirty every time I use it). I should have known we were in trouble the minute he started calling himself “dummy” and carrying on unintelligible conversations with imaginary friends while trying to simultaneously hold up 14' lengths of crown with hid forearm and not shoot himself in the hand with his nail gun, all the while holding on to dear life to a 20' ladder with his size 10 feet.
You see, this happens midway through every project my husband and I do together. I come up with grandiose plans, and he says yes to them because he either fears outright insubordination or wants to score big time bonus points with me (like, “honey I want an I-phone” bonus points). He's usually pretty much on board by the time we get through the planning stage- I haven't once had to beat him into submission- and he even starts to get excited and “see the vision”. The King and I are perfectly suited for each other, first because we are both the only people on earth who can put up with the other on a daily basis and still somewhat like each other, and we both HATE starting something and not finishing it. We become single minded in our goal, and it's all we eat drink or sleep for days on end until it's done. Somewhere in there we remember that we have kids and that tends to bring a little balance back to our lives. That being said, without fail halfway through the job a big dose of reality with accompanying burn out always descends on The King and it's a steep decline into downer-ville. Over the years I've mastered the pep talks that I use during these times- I think I could possibly have a career as a motivational speaker or corporate training manager (and I thought I'd never amount to anything important)- but they only go so far to persuade him to get over it. That being said, he never fails to dig way down inside and pulls out of it. Mostly, I think his desire to get me off his back wins over all other feelings (yay for being annoying!) and he jumps (well, more like forces) himself back in the saddle.
So tonight I began the first round of practiced pep talks with a mixed reception. I did talk him out of his disastrous idea to paint the 12” of crown (made up of 6 individual pieces- holy crap, he's an artist!- so I'll have to cut him a little slack) a different color from the base/case/chair rail. Score big for me! Silly boy, what was he thinking??? I think I'll have to rev up the annoying factor over the next day or so, because I REALLY want my house back in it's pristine but regimentally maintained and O.C.D fed order. See, I have my demons too!

Oops, that was supposed to be quick.

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