The man child has turned into an 80 year old woman.
This morning I had to run to the bank, after checking in the kids to school an hour and a half late (no one's alarm went off this morning, so I deemed it a sleep in as late as we want morning). On our way back to the house, the MC actually started screaming "no, no, no. Car. Go walk". I was so impressed that he had managed to form a simple sentence! It doesn't even matter that what he said made absolutely no sense. I'm actually starting to believe that one day he'll be able to speak as well as the average 18 month old.
Through my amazing ovary-endowed powers of deduction, I was able to interpret his request as "I would like to continue riding in the car, if that pleases you mother dearest. Oh, and by the way you are my inspiration." (okay, that might be the stretching it a little). It made me a little sad that my 2 year old is so sick of the house that a ride to ANYWHERE was better than going home, but I quickly dismissed the feelings and took the situation for what it was, an opportunity to "block stalk" my favorite houses. I LOVE architecture and design; if they had groupies I'd be the first one wearing a shirt that says "I Heart Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". My two favorite homes to stalk are in Draper and Bountiful, so I had to settle for the best available in Syracuse. I won't describe the houses here for fear that the owners might find out and start paying attention when a certain silver suv drives past over, and over, and over, but please know that I am totally harmless and almost sane. Well, mostly sane. Depends on the day.
After hitting my favorite neighborhoods for a good 30 minutes, I turned back towards home. We were not even 10 feet into our neighborhood when the MC started screaming again "no no walk, car walk". Are you serious kid???? He's not the kind of toddler who is lulled to sleep in the car; in fact, during his first 3 months of existence he screamed like someone was denying him his 3rd breakfast every time he was placed in the car seat. We have to pack the entire contents of his toy box every time we leave, just to keep him entertained while we drive the 3 minutes to the grocery store. But today he wants to go on a RIDE, and not just any ride, an LONG RIDE- hence my reference to the 80 year old woman. He and my grandma should get along beautifully. Shockingly- he was PERFECT. THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!
Of course, I eventually had to get home, so I bribed him with fries (works every time). I feel like today I stole away the ring of power from Gollum. Like I have this great secret tool that makes him do my bidding- I just have to make him really, really bored then he'll go where ever I want. Maybe I'll try taking him to the grocery store again. I haven't been able to do that in ages.
Oh wait, no. If he's behaving I'm going to Tai Pan.