Today. Okay, not for every mom in the world, just for me. But I guarantee every parent has faced this day with as much anger/depression/out of control rage as I have. Today.... (big dramatic pause), the man child learned how to climb out of his crib.
Oh @$&* (I stopped swearing this summer. At times like this I really regret the decision, for a simple "crap" or "shoot" just doesn't do the situation justice).
I really should give the kid some credit- I watched the 40 pound monster scale the crib walls with a speed that belies his 100-plus percentile size and an agility that spiderman would envy. He couldn't have possibly figured that out over night, could he??? I can just imagine him each day during nap time, waiting for me to shut the door to his room then stretching and pulling, each day a little higher, driven by the smug look on my face as I wish him "night-night" and head off to wonderful solitude.
At first I held out hope- I hadn't lowered the mattress to the final setting yet! That's an additional 2 or 3 inches, surely he wouldn't be able to reach anymore and I'd buy myself a few more weeks. It's probably a clear sign of my perpetual immaturity, but I actually mocked the kid as I lowered the mattress and even taunted him saying "ha, I dare you to get out of that!" Well, it took all of one minute after I put him in and closed the door to hear him banging away on something wood- a clear sign that he'd freed himself.
Crap. ^%$#. ^&**%$. (translation- I'm not swearing here but probably sinning anyway cause I'm pretty much thinking it).
So, you can probably guess what happened next. I locked the stinker in his room (thankfully he hasn't mastered the door handles, YET!) and listened to him cry for the next 2 hours. Child abuse?......maybe, but here's the thing. This child NEEDS a nap. It's like a mid-day reset button for him. He wakes up happy in the morning and gradually morphs into that freaky puppet Chuckie as the day goes on. By two in the afternoon it's come down to my sanity or his life, and since I don't think I'd survive long in prison (I have a very real prison phobia- thank you Prison Break and Cops), I opt for my sanity.
Two freaking hours and no sleep. Needless to say, he was just a gem for the rest of the day, and my poor drama queen had to watch him while I did an hour and a half of afternoon lessons. She's such a trooper! The most unfortunate casualty of the day was Fox's pinewood derby later in the evening, which was short lived because of the man child's complete unwillingness to behave.
Bedtime should be a blast...........