Friday, March 27, 2009

Reality Check

The illusion is dead....

Would you like to know the only problem with the increased accessibility of celebrities via social networks like Facebook or Twitter?

You get to see what they are really like, not what you've built them up in your mind to be.

The other day when I decided to finally invest some time into figuring out the whole Twitter appeal, I decided to see which members of The Road Trip List were regular users. I'm sure there a lot of posers and wannabes that claim to be ___________ (insert Beyonce, Britney Spears, Rob Pattinson or any generic celebrity here), so when I found who appeared to be the "real" Gerard Butler I was seriously stoked. Sadly, there was nothing for Shemar Moore. I was however able to find Colin Firth, who had only one post, a witty word play on his name. He is very classy, just as I hoped he would be.

Gerard Butler (aka. Gerry Butler) is another case entirely. In fact, he may have to be removed from The List (Dun, dun, dun...)

What could he have possibly done to fall from glory so quickly? Here's the problem. He Twits regularly, which would be a good thing except that some of his updates are a little creepy. The dirty old man with a moustache kind of creepy. For example, today he said:

"What kind of women do I like? I like them young, thin, exotic and in multiples...".

I should mention that right after this posting he wrote another that said "just kidding, I like all types" (I'm paraphrasing here), but I looked back and forward through the twits and saw these same standards- young, thin, and "bring a friend"- repeated more than once. Methinks he does not jest.

So what do these standards say about him? Here's how I'd interpret them:

Young: The Phantom- oops, Mr. Butler- is turning 40 this year. Let's assume by "young" he's meaning 18 and up (well, he'd better be referring to girls over 18). That implies that he thrives on their hero worship and obvious daddy complexes. They are more likely to be immature and naive and therefore won't see through manipulation and B.S. Granted, he can't help that he's worshiped by teeny-boppers and grannies alike, but still- hitting on girls 15 to 20 years younger than you???? Just so it's clear, I'm not being sexist here. Huge age gaps in couples are weird regardless if you're a "midlife crisis" or a "cougar".

Thin: Did he realize just how vague he was being by saying simply "thin"? There's a wide chasm between celebrity thin and the rest of the world's perception of thin. Do you think he meant....
"Model" Thin: Diet of ice chips. Wears the same size as my 12 year old.
"Hollywood" Thin: Diet of ice chips and the occasional salad with grilled chicken and no dressing- just squeezed lemon. Wears a size 2 on a normal day and 4 when experiencing PMS bloating.
"Normal" Thin: Diet varies, as does size. The identifying characteristic is the ability to wear your jeans without creating a muffin top.

I've got my fingers crossed that it's the third, but I wouldn't bet my life on it.

Exotic: I'm all good with this requirement. Exotic can mean anything and anyone depending on where you are from. For my hubby, my being 1/4 Puerto Rican and 1/4 Scotch made me the most "exotic" thing he'd ever dated ( I say dated because I know for a fact that he made out with a Guadeloupian woman once but that's not dating, just a n.c.m.o.).

Multiples: I'm not even touching this. My reaction probably screams "simple, innocent Utah girl", but oh well. I'll wear that title proudly any day.

If what these words imply about the "real" Gerard Butler are true, I no longer wish to theoretically run away with him should the opportunity ever present itself (it's a long shot, I know, but it makes for great conversation). I've always taken the image of celebs presented by mags such as People, US Weekly, and "news" shows like Entertainment Tonight with a big old grain of salt. After all, haven't the Hollywood elite always insisted that 99% of what's reported is nonsensical lies? The irony is that the "character" of Gerard Butler created by the media is much more likable than the image he's created for himself.

I'm still going to keep following him on Twitter. I want to see if I'm right and in a few weeks he'll be reporting from Spring Break in Cancun or Key West that he's hit the mother load of really hungry bikini clad coeds.


  1. The Twitter account for Gerard butler is fake. It is not him. His fan site confirmed this with his manager. He has never even heard for Twitter! :D

  2. Anonymous, thou doth protest to much. Could you be the Butler in question?

  3. I'm agreeing with anon above - it's been confirmed. Butler doesn't have myspace, facebook, twitter, or other social networking pages and there are LOTS of people being taken in by that.
    Not that I don't believe the whole "young, thin, exotic, and in multiples". That I absolutely believe. I just don't think he'd be callous enough to publish it...

  4. umm he has a facebook account...

  5. mom-

    world domination.........
    here we come!

  6. uhhh, anonymous people and ME, dancingqueen. Thanks for the snub.