Monday, June 1, 2009

Girls Can Be So Mean....

I know I've probably said it before, but it's worth saying again and again.

Girls can be so mean to each other!!!

Seriously, if we could treat each other like men treat each other just imagine how much further along feminism would be.

Instead we scratch, claw and hiss when we think another female has looked cross eyed at us.

I swear the behavior must be ingrained in our DNA, because it rears its ugly head about the same time as puberty hits.

I bring this up because of a situation involving the TQ and her BFF(?). I added the ? because I'm not really sure if they are friends any more. Apparently TQ did or said something that has created a chasm between them that cannot be bridged no matter how many times she tries to apologise or find out what she did wrong.

I think that TQ is the loveliest, most wonderful 12 year old that has ever graced the earth, but I am not naive- I know she's not perfect. While she takes after her pop's family physically, her personality and attitude are 99.99999% Loma. She knew the meaning of irony before most toddlers could say their first complete sentence. She can banter with ease among the best satirists. She has acquired the leadership skills inherent in being the oldest child- aka. being a "know it all" and "bossy". But despite these things, she is well liked and respected among her peers.

I thought she showed maturity beyond her years when she called this BFF and begged her to forgive her for whatever she had done. TQ has really missed her. Heck, the whole family has missed having her around. But the BFF will not relent. She ignores TQ at school and will not respond when TQ tries to speak to her. She won't answer her phone if she sees that it's TQ's number (she tested it by calling on her phone and getting the voice mail, then calling my 30 seconds later on my phone. The BFF answered). This past weekend, the BFF was a no show at TQ's end of the year party- a party which they had planned for months.

I don't know what else she can do. TQ is brokenhearted. Fortunately she has many, many other friends, but growing up you always want to have that one special person that you can share everything with. She doesn't have a sister who can easily fulfill that role like I did, and I'm afraid that Mom just doesn't fit the bill either.

Te funny thing is that I can remember with almost perfect clarity going through the same dramas at the same age. Only back then we didn't have email or texting or Facebook or the other hundred ways kids can E-bully each other. The handwritten notes we passed each other saying "you're mean" just don't seem as cruel in comparison.

Sometimes sending her to a convent for the next 6 years sounds really, really good. Do they allow Mormon girls as novices???


  1. Sydnee is only 7 and she is already experiencing this. She has not been in the same class as her tow bff for two years now. Just recently they have decided that she cant play with them at recess. They are having "private recesses" and only their class can play. She thought they were joking and went to play with them and her bff totally pushed her and told her she couldnt play. These are the two girls that she has been inseperable since she was 2. I was really reluctant to send her to the charter school because she wouldnt get to see her bff that much. But why I am fighting for her to be with these girls when they treat her like crap? It is just sad.

  2. That sucks. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to play with Syd- she's the sweetest girl alive. That's the problem with tracks- they make the kids almost completely separated from the rest of their grade and there's not enough interaction between the tracks. Tell Syd that Aunt Mindi only wishes she could be so lucky to be able to play with her at recess!!

  3. maybe after a break from each other they will miss each other terribly and make up. i was off and on with my neighbor/ bff growing up. we would be friends then disagree and not be friends for a few months then get bored and be friends again. i am still friends with her today though. i really do hate girl drama. perhaps this is why i was blessed with only one daughter and hung around guys more growing up. of course that lead to a different sort of trouble...