Saturday, June 27, 2009

My List of.....Posts That Will Never See the Light of Day

It's been said that for every great idea for a story, an author first comes up with a hundred bad ones.

Now, I'm not claiming that I'm anywhere close to being considered a good- or even mediocre- writer, but by the overwhelming number of incomplete posts saved in my draft box I am due to write the greatest blog novel of all time any day now. There have been so many times (usually in the middle of the night and motivated by mental and physical exhaustion) when I have began a blog post only to stop a few lines or paragraphs into it. From there it goes to the post graveyard (aka. the draft box) until it's time to be resurrected. To this day I have a 0% rebirth rate. They never even make it to reincarnation.

I'd like to blame my habitual failure on the excuse that it's too hard to get back into the groove of a post once you've stopped writing, but more often than not I fear that what seemed hilarious or vitally important at two in the morning just doesn't cross over very well in the light of day.

So, to give the ghosts of my dead posts some peace in their afterlife, I now present the "List of the posts that will never make it to the light of day"

(May I never rhyme that much again)

*If the Double Wide's a Rockin', Don't Come A Knockin'........

*Flashback To....The Single Dumbest Thing I've Ever Done...

*How Many Bad Habits Can I Have Before I Should Voluntarily Stay Away From Humans?

*Dr. Cox...Wickedly Lovable or the Boss From Hadies???

*Don't Ever Chew Gum Around Ticket Tom's Truck......

*Farewell Sleepless In Seattle, and Take Forrest With You!

* My List Of...Things I Refuse To Spend $250 On- aka, The List of Why My Children Don't Like Me.....

*It Kind of Makes You Think.......

* So That's Why He Keeps Asking us to Build a Bathroom in the Fort....

*Tonight I Am Ornery...... (commentary: I could write a post entitled "Tonight I am ornery" almost every day, so I figured this one was more than ridiculously redundant)

*Fox's Mom Has Got It Going On......

*The Man Child is Sticking it to The Man!

*Ode to the Emos.... (commentary: of all the posts, this one might get resurrected. It's an important contemporary essay that delves into such questions as: is wearing girl's skinny jeans worth the sterility for boys, is there such a thing as too much black, flat greasy hair or mohawk greasy hair, does white makeup clog pores...... But that might just be the 3 AM talking)

I really need some sleep

1 comment:

  1. Oh come on, you gotta post some of these. My curiosity is, the dumbest thing you've ever done...please?